Learn from a dead

Last week I receive the news about the dead of Tran Phuc-a student in my school. It's strange, when I first heard the new, I don't know who exactly- just know about the class. I have think that it could be a friend of me- the probability is high since it is a small class and I have quiet a lot friend in it. But I'm not worry, concern or maybe even care. When I know it is not my friend I even more motionless. I wonder since when that I become so calm, so uncare, so heartless. And I realize no longer did I cry when I feel sad, sore or pain, no longer did I panic when something came up so sudden. I has become someone who able to control or act like that when I face trouble. I see everything with it two sides and evaluate it. I don't it is good or bad but it doesn't make me happy.
When I read news and comments of my friend I see a fact of our generation. We are so cold to others 's pain. Most of my friend write about it or at lease mention it but they seem to didn't care much. I read their words and feel like reading an obituary. Some of my classmate actualy come to the funeral but the way they said it is more like attending in a festival. The whole thing is nothing but a chance to get together. I didn't go to the funeral. It isn't I try to be different from them but I has no feeling for that boy's dead but a little pity and reproach for being careless and lost his life so nonsensically.
However the dead did give me some lesson since I read what my friend write. It is obvious that he is just a normal good student in his class. His dead leaves only a small trace in our memory and I wonder how long could it be before we forget him. That boy hasn't do anything special in his life, hasn't reach any important success for us to admire. AND SO DO I. Since I got into this school I think that I have become something special, something remarkable but I was so wrong. Among all the good student in my school I am nothing. I'm just one of thousands and when I'm gone noone would remember me. It's time for me to forget all the successes I have had in the past and start another process to reach a new goal. Starting SAT.