In the End

In The End, the Very End when time run out and the book close.
Last night, night of departing, night of sorrow and night of joy. We end a chapter in our life, close down a book and start a new one.
I can remember a few thing I've done that night. Dancing, cheering, eating, drinking, laughting and crying, of course, but I can't remember what I have in mind at the moment. They are all a bluss, a set of emotion mix up, blend in. I hug my friend and cry but I don't know for what. I simply can't not make out the reason my tear choke my words. Am I cry for us never be the same as we are now? Am I cry for the beautiful part of my life I have to leave behind? I don't know and I will never be.
It's funny how we can be so different from what we show people. most of the time A1 was mean to be the noisy, naughty class. We annoy everyone and seem so shallow. Nobody know under that shell are beautiful hearts. We love each other, care for each other. We cry and laught together. Between us are the unbroken bond creat by love, the love we develop with so much effort in three whole year. We have argue, there is none 46 people can be together with down having a agrument, but in the end it is the love, the caring we feel for each other that last and will last forever.
When I think about the departing night it always remind me of a fairy tale. But this is an unfinish fairy tale. The final demon are yet to be defeated. The hero still have a lot to do. Maybe he win, maybe he die trying. Anyway he have a long trouney ahead and his companion is nothing than the happy thought of glory past.

BIRTHDAY

My birthday is 5 day before I write this blog. It's a bit normal if you ask me. 18 is supposed to be something big, something important. Just think about it, now I'm officially old enough to vote, to work and of course to marry (lately it is all the girl talk about. It's really funny since non of us take it serious). But come to think of it what have I expected? It's still the sme old girl (18 is old???). I grow up in body but maybe not in mind. Still reckless, lazy and some what irresponsible. Guess I have to be big myself before expecting something big ^_^.
PS: hey is it me or lately I become more cheerful.

La Corda O'Dor

Now let's talk about my brand new interest: La Corda O'Dor. It's a anime just show on ANIME but I have already watch it on YouTube. It's great. The characters, the story, the writing, they are all great. I especially love Len. He's cool ( hot won't work for describe him)

I'm hopeless

Seen the title yet? STRANGE, isn't it??? I mean after all the word I gave out about believing in myself and think possitive now I'm lowing mysell???
But realy I'm hopeless, uncurable in this VERY matter: FEELING.
It's true I used to turn down a boy even before I know he was asking me to be his girlfriend. It's true that when I leave my secondary school I don't drop a tear ( I don't like it that much anyway ). But this is different. I love my current class. I spent three great years with them. I LOVE THEM. But when asked to write some farewell words, I just couldn't do it. My writing is rock hard. It has grammar, vocabulary (in Vietnamese) but no feeling at all, not a drop. Oh God, this is horrible. I'm thinking of having my heart check. I don't think it is functioning right. OH MY GOD.

Count down to LUNAR NEW YEAR

It's only 6 more day to lunar new year. Different from many other countries, this is the true beginning of the year in Vietnam. And also different from others, in this time of the year, some of us have the tendency to check what have we achived this year.
For me, this is the first time I do this but I think it would have a good effect on me.

Let's see...
this year...I enter a new English class. Once again driff myself of the old environment and head forward. I have kept myself going and will always do.
this year...I learn that everybody have a different way to look at the world (I always hear that but never trully understand.) and what I think best for others don't mean they think the same.
this year...I learn that I have a little autism. Not so important, just i don't want to talk to others. Don't want to learn about others. I guess that is because I always over-worry about others (when my mother picks me up late the first thing I think about is what if she got an accident) and new people mean new worry.
this year...I learn that life could never be the way I want. The most important thing is how you deal with it. Will you be upset and cry for your misery or will you let it go and open a new door? Or maybe you would sit down a bit then stand up and walk away? It's all depend on you.
this year...I watch my friend dearm broken. I can fell how she fell 'cause I have been in the same situation not long ago, but all the word I say cuold have no effect on him and more than ever I know the only person can get a broken girl up is herself (I don't know if it is the same for boy).
this year...I got a broken arm and I know that when I'm in such situation many people would look at me pitifully but the only person who can actually do something is myself. And I also learn that every problem will have a solution. It's just a solution may not look like one. And it also could be very difficult.
this year...I learn to love my class a little more. That's strange how I always think good about people but never love them. And this class where people sometime I can't think good about their actions no matter how I look at it make me love it heartfully.
this year...I finally know that I did love someone. I love my father, my mother, my sister, my brother (this I'm not sure about), my dogs. I love my teacher (most of them), my classmates, my friend and myself. And I know I will love more because love is unlimited no matter how much you give, it will never ran out.

Cry

When do people cry?
When they watch a sad movie.
When they see a sad fact.
When they got cut in their hand.
When they got cut in their heart.
When they lose someone they love.
When they hurt someone.
And when they are in utmost happiness.
When they're in love, when they're in pain.
When they scream and when they laugh.
When their emotions get out of their hand.
But when do I cry?
When I watch a sad movie.
When I see a sad fact.
When I got cut in my hand.
What about the rest? Why have I never cried for someone I lost, for someone I hurt or someone who hurt me?
Come to think about it, it is quite easy to understand. Because I have none. I haven't yet to lost someone, I haven't yet to hurt someone. I haven't yet to be hurt. But I know when that day come, I will cry. I will cry my heart out. I will cry with all my strength. Not because my life will end there but because tears are the only things I can left with them and when I eyes dry, I will come forward without looking back once. Just like I always do.

Hand

Do you know the famous story about a woman ask her child which part of the body is the most important? The answer is the shoulder for it could be the place for people we love to lean on.
However, for me, that is not enough. It's true that the shoulder could comfort others but that's all. It can't do nothing to helpthem solve their problem or properly get them over their sadness. In my point of view, it's my hands that are the most important. With my hand I can feed, clothes, take care of myself (I didn't mean that people without hands can't take care of themselves. They just have to do it another way). In short, I can prevent myself from being a burden. Futhermore, when people I love in trouble I can reach out my hand and help them stand up again. I can help them solve their problem and even if I can't, I can at the very least embrace them and give them a little peace.
Yes, I'm certain that my hand is my most precious possesion.